Published on Thursday, September 13, 2012 – 4:39pm

“Jackie Collins’s Poor Little Bitch Girl contains a unique form of synactics that exemplifies the openly humanistic need for effortless, albeit exciting, access to non-empirically acquired experiences. Collins explores the rich tensions of consciousness within the characters, promoting a noesis of experience by subjecting her characters to intense and often morally compromising situations.“
– Dr. My Nguyen, fake professor of linguistics, in her groundbreaking, non-existing paper Cheap Thrills and the Noumena of Generative Grammar.

I am a big fan of guilty pleasures. Gossip Girl? I own all 11 novels in the series. Korn? Who doesn’t feel like they have Issues every now and then? Britney Spears? Don’t you dare put your itchy paws on the radio dial when “Til the World Ends” comes on.

Hey, we all need a way to relax. Some enjoy more scholarly endeavors, like Sudoku or the New York Times crossword puzzle. Some ignore their girlfriends for days in pursuit of perfecting the sacred art of creating music (which, in turn, gives me reason to indulge in yet another guilty pleasure, Julie Klausner’s I Don’t Care About Your Band). Some build birdhouses, or engage in recreational eating contests, or watch whole marathons of Absolutely Fabulous.

I, however, enjoy putting Roland Barthes on the back burner every now and then, and unwinding with a delightfully trashy Jackie Collins novel.

The argument for highbrow art and literature is usually tied up in hoity-toity notions accepted by the public of what is considered good and cultured. Good and cultured are, sadly, also at times synonymous with wildly boring and weirdly verbose, as exemplified by any Dickens novel I’ve ever read and any Heidegger treatise I’ll ever attempt to read. And you know what? Jackie Collins novels are many things but no one I know has ever accused them of being boring or verbose — such accusations being a writer’s greatest sin, if you ask me.

With titles like The World Is Full of Married Men and Lethal Seduction, no one will ever openly equate Ms. Collins with the standard by which many cultural elitists hold dear: The Bard. (Even though there seems to be more sex, sardonic smack-talking, and murder plots in Shakespeare’s plays than American Psycho, except Shakespeare — forgive me, Bret Easton Ellis — is the better writer).

This doesn’t make Ms. Collins’s oeuvre any less relevant, though. Her books chronicle an irresistibly thrilling fantasy world of Hollywood denizens (all of them portrayed as gorgeous, fit, and never homely) driving Corvettes, going to film premieres, eating at Spago’s, and sleeping with married people. Yes, this sounds like the book equivalent of a bad soap opera. Yes, this has the intellectual nutritional value of a Slim Jim. No, these factors do not diminish my desire to read her books when I just want to spend 3 hours in a breathless daze.

And, guilty pleasures or not, for people who dislike reading, her novels can transform the library-averse into voracious readers. Take myself, for example: I didn’t learn how to read proficiently until I was at least seven or eight years old (I had to take ESL classes as a kid). It was only through books in theSweet Valley High series — hardly considered vital works in the Western canon — that I developed an affinity for reading more challenging things. But I don’t forget my humble reading roots; in fact, I happily relish in them.

I digress about my literary chrysalis, though. Jackie Collins’s Poor Little Bitch Girl is a more exciting topic.

Set between Los Angeles, New York City, and Washington, D.C., the book devotes its chapters to a set of largely scandalous characters. There is Annabelle Maestro, who squashes her complex about being the daughter of two movie stars by becoming a madam for wealthy men. There is Denver Jones, former nerd turned beautiful and brilliant attorney. There is her best friend Carolyn Henderson, who, while having an affair with a married senator in D.C., becomes pregnant with his child. There is Bobby Santangelo Stanislopolous, the low-key billionaire who develops an interest in Denver. They all went to high school together years ago. But the past has a funny (and raunchy) way of showing up unexpectedly…

When Annabelle’s mother is discovered dead in her own bedroom (doesn’t this sound like the central plotline of Raymond Chandler’s The Long Goodbye?), it sets off a chain of events interconnecting them all to murder, sex, drugs, and yes, rock ’n roll — albeit in the form of a cocaine-addled deejay named Frankie.

For those who may turn up their noses and ask how this story could possibly be engaging, I reply that it is engaging in the way that bungee jumping or watching Die Hard is engaging —  this book thrills, never mind how inexpensively. When I want to have a bit of excitement without leaving the confines of my living room, I know this Jackie Collins book — all Jackie Collins books — deliver.

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Trio bring star power, will dish
Hollywood secrets at Nov. 15 event

Michael Childers and Jackie Collins are two of a powerful trio set to host a Nov. 15 event to benefit the AIDS Assistance Program in Palm Springs.
WBEZ.ORG AND HARRAHSRINCON.COM

New York Times bestselling author Jackie Collins, award winning photographer of the stars Michael Childers, and comedy writer Bruce Vilanch (pictured left) are joining forces to co-host “Hollywood Dine and Dish: The Tinseltown Stories You Haven’t Heard,” on Nov. 15.

This evening benefits the AIDS Assistance Program (AAP) in Palm Springs, and will include hors d’oeuvres, drinks and dinner courtesy of Brad and Lynne Toles of Savoury’s Catering. The event will take place in Rancho Mirage at the Waterford estate of Bob Deville and Bob Bennion, co-owners of Windermere Real Estate Southern California.

Proceeds from each ticket purchased will go directly to AAP, according to Executive Director Mark Anton.

Tickets are available for $1,000 per person or $1,500 per couple. The cost is tax deductible. Remaining seats may also be purchased during the live auction at the “Evening Under the Stars” gala featuring Cyndi Lauper on May 11. To attend the event, call Anton at (760) 325-8481.

Collins has been called a “raunchy moralist” by the late director Louis Malle and dubbed “Hollywood’s own Marcel Proust” by Vanity Fair magazine. With more than 500 million copies of her books sold in more than 40 countries, Collins is one of the world’s top-selling novelists.

Childers is one of the entertainment industry’s most renowned and highly respected portrait, fashion and art photographers who began his career in the 1960s and continues to influence the world of art photography today. He has been instrumental in capturing the beauty and magnetism of such explosive young stars as Mel Gibson, Demi Moore, Richard Gere, John Travolta, Sissy Spacek and Michelle Pfeiffer, Rock Hudson, Natalie Wood, and Elton John.

Vilanch is a two-faced fella: Bearded, he is one of the most sought-after comedy writers in Hollywood, winner of a bunch of Emmys, and noted as the “Hollywood Square” just to the left of Whoopi Goldberg. Shaved, he spent two years as Edna Turnblad, Baltimore housewife and superstar, on tour and on Broadway, in the smash musical adaptation of the John Waters film, Hairspray.

In addition to Hairspray, he has appeared in Ice Pirates, Mahogany, and The Morning After. A frequent guest on talk shows, Vilanch won his Emmys for co-writing back-to-back Oscar shows with Billy Crystal. He was also nominated for an Emmy as a lyricist on Eartha Kitt’s gold-selling album, “Where Is My Man”.

For more information about AAP, visit www.aidsassistance.org.

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Amazing success for author who consistently tops best-seller list

When 15-year-old Jackie Collins landed in LA in the 1950s, even her wildest dreams couldn’t have predicted that over the next six decades she would consistenly be one of the world’s top-selling novelists, notching up sales of over 500 million copies of her books in 40 countries. 

Collins’ debut novel, The World Is Full Of Married Men, first scored a slot on the best-seller lists in 1968.

In the 70s, her work earned millions of fans while continuing to cause such shock and outrage that some nations banned publication.

In the 80s, Jackie beautifully captured the zeitgeist of the times with the introduction of her most famous character, Lucky Santangelo, a kick-ass heroine who epitomised girl power long before five Spices sang “zip-a-zig ah.”

By the time the 90s rolled in, you couldn’t chuck a flip flop on a beach without hitting a sun-lounger that was a accessorised with the latest Collins’ raunchfest.

And post-millenium, the internet and celebrity magazine proved Jackie had been giving us the inside scoop on the outrageous happenings of Hollywood all along.

Now her work continues to evolve and move with the times.

Her new characters and storylines reflect the culture of today’s uber-rich and breathtakingly bad, while her legends of the past have been brough to today’s high-tech generation with the 2012 publication of her entire backlist in ebook.

Of her digital launch, Jackie said: “As an author who has never been out of print, I am delighted to be bringing my books to the ebook format. It’s new, it’s exciting and I know my loyal fans are going to love it.”

There was never a blinged-up, hot, sexy, scandalous shadow of a doubt that she would be right.

Her novels still top the charts, her social media sites have attracted followers in the six figure droves and she is still regularly cited as an inspiration by new writers who weren’t even born when her career began.

When I told Jackie about the launch of our Book Club page last year, she replied: “Yes! Reading is the pleasure that fires the imagination. More space for book talk is great.”

And for Collins fans, it doesn’t come any greater than spending a few blissful hours in the company of a literary icon who shares her incredible imagination with the world.

For the love of books – This Week Jackie Collins

Famous five first for kick-ass writer

Which books inspired one of the most illustrious literary careers of our times? In this exclusive chat, Jackie shares the reads that have left an imprint on her life.

As a child I loved…fantasy novels by Enid Blyton. She took me on a visual trip to far away places.

I then moved on to…anything by Harold Robbins and Mickey Spillane. I adored them, but I realized their women were only in the kitchen and the bedroom – sex and cooking. My female characters kick ass.

The world should read…The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart, in which a man lives his life by rolling the dice. I thought is was quirky and possible.

If I had to choose my top three writers they would be…Mario Puzo, Charles Dickens and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

My preferred genre is…Tough thrillers with page-turning plots. Books on my reading pile at the moment include Back to Blood by Tom Wolfe, who is a brilliant storyteller; Playing Along by Rory Samantha Green, a fun quirky romance; and Six Years by Harlan Coben, which is just suspense all the way.

I was moved when I read…James Frey’s Bright Shiny Morning. It’s a brilliant novel encompassing Los Angeles and true to life characters.

If someone was to read one of my novels for the first time, they should start with…Chances-the beginning of the Santangelo family saga.

Book Club with Sharilow

Over the coming months, our Book Club will be paying tribute to some stellar names of the literary world, and stars don’t come much brighter than the divine Miss Jackie Collins. Today, readers and authors share the joy of walking on the wild side with the Queen of the Bonkbuster.

Reviews

The Power Trip
by Jackie Collins

The paperback version of the hardback chart-topper, The Power Trip, has just been released, and from the very first line it proves that HRH (hot, racy happenings) Jackie is a raunchy and scandalous as ever.

This time her cast of glamour and power includes a supermodel, a top footballer, a maverick journalist, a movie star, a Latin heartthrob, a flawed US senator and a Russian oligarch who brings them all together to celebrate the maiden voyage of his new yacht.

The storyline sizzles like a drop of champagne spilled on the deck in the midday sun, so whether you’re off to Mull or the Maldives, don’t leave without booking a spot of escapist indulgence on the most entertaining cruise of the summer.

Readers choice

By Jan Johnston, Kilmacolm

Chances
By Jackie Collins

I’m a huge Jackie Collins fan and don’t think I’ve missed a new release since the 80s. Chances is my ultimate top pick as it featured the Santangelo family for the first time and starred my favourite character Lucky – a sassy, independent, smart Woman with a great heart who played the men at their  own game. I also loved her dad, Gino, and the relationship between them.

I was set in a completely different world and took me away from reality to the casinos, the glitz and the glamour of Lucky’s world.

Successive books have allowed us to follow Lucky’s life through her careers, family, marriages and kidnappings, but Chances remains on the top of the list of novels that I enjoy reading again and again.

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The best-selling author talks love, success and why sleeping is overrated.

By Nicholas Fonseca

Jackie Collins has earned the right to be as fabulous as she damned well pleases. For 45 years, the British-born author has been making readers hot under the collar with addictive bestsellers boasting delicious titles like Lady Boss and Poor Little Bitch Girl. Her latest, 2012′s The Power Trip, takes place on a luxury superyacht and features Russian gangsters, Somali pirates and a gay Latin pop star. It’s safe to say Collins, 75, has no shortage of imagination – or ambition. She is currently working on five separate projects, including a memoir, cookbook, stage play and two more novels. Tired yet? This interview will perk you right back up.

Every minute counts. I write longhand and it takes a tremendous amount of discipline. I never have writer’s block, but sometimes have getting-to-the-desk block. I have to shut myself away. So it’s a bit like going to prison – but a prison with all my favorite characters.

Accepting the faults in others helps you to forgive. Onc of the reasons I write about double standards is because I saw it in my own family. My father considered women to be wives, mothers, sisters and daughters – and the rest were sluts and whores. He was very shocked by my books but he was also proud of the success I achieved.

I have school but believe in education. There was nothing entertaining whatsoever in my school. I mean, maths, geometry and Latin?! I came out bottom at everything except composition, where I excelled. I was kicked out at 15 and had a ceremony with a couple of friends on the Thames, where we stood on the bridge and threw my uniform into the river. I used to have nightmares I would be sent back! I wouldn’t advise it today. Kids should stay in school because education today is so much more fabulous. Whatever you want to learn, you now have computers and movies to explain it for you.

The only thing I’ve sacrificed to get ahead is sleep. Because I was such a wild child myself, I wanted to be there for my kids. As a writer, you can have a career and a family because you write at home. I got up every morning, gave my kids breakfast, took them to school, met them again in the afternoon. At night, I would go to nightclubs which my husband owned, be out until three in the morning and up again at seven. It was pretty hectic but I thought, one day I’m going to sleep as long as I want.

Don’t fear death – it happens to everyone. I lost two really great men to horrible illnesses. My fiancé of six years was incredible-looking, athletic and in great shape. One Christmas, he got the flu. The next week we went to the doctor and said, “I’m fucked. They just told me I’ve got three months to live.” When that is thrown at you, it’s very difficult to handle. But I decided I would not mourn his life because it was a fantastic one. I celebrated it. I did the same thing with my late husband. I have pictures of both men all over my house.

My books are so much more than just guilty pleasures. I get a lot of letters from people who say I helped them through difficult times with my books. I write about relationships. I write books about today. I have a huge readership for everybody from 14 to 90 because I write to all different ages. My characters are black and Latino, Australian, English and American. They’re gay, straight, whatever.

As women, we deserve better. Look at what’s going on all over the world. In some countries, we’re stoned to death. In others, women can be killed just for looking at a man. In China, they’re still drowning baby girls. Women are absolutely second-class citizens across the world, even though we’re trying to change that. As a best-selling author, I still sometimes feel if I were a man, I would get better treatment.

The most important quality a woman can have is her integrity. And the most overrated quality is big boobs. Or, I should say, fake big boobs.

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Weston notes, “This is a book which I have always coveted, but until we developed a screenplay that worked, Jackie was reluctant to give us the movie rights. Then screenwriter James Hammons wrote a script which solved the intricacies of the story, and Ms. Collins agreed to our plans for filming this gripping tale.”

Jackie’s sizzling female revenge story, interwoven by Hammons with today’s headlines of sex slavery and who controls it, details the life of powerful Russian mob boss who becomes angered that someone is cutting into his sex-trade profits. Needing to control his threatened prostitution empire, the Russian contracts a hit on a beautiful crusader who is persuading women to escape the illicit sex-slave ring. Unaware that this outspoken liberator has loyal family and friends, the mob boss has her brazenly blown away on a New York stage during a packed ‘freedom’ rally.

Three extraordinary women — the crusader’s sisters — rise to the challenge. In a sisterly promise, they vow revenge on the Russian in a way to hurt him most: using their bodies and sexual wiles to entice and bring down the mob bosses’ three beloved sons.

One sister, innocent-seeming Beth, goes after the oldest married son in New York. Kinky underground film star Rio will seduce a younger son in Miami. Gorgeous jet-setting model Lara will ensnare the son in Los Angeles. But it’s a dangerous game, heating to spell-binding intrigue, murderous suspense, raw eroticism and sudden passion, as these three sensational women exploit the son’s overblown sexual egos which prove too inflexible to survive.

Weston notes that Jackie Collins, one of the world’s top-selling novelists, has had 28 New York Times’ best-sellers to her credit. “Her hard-to-put down books are grounded in truth, laced with a bracing shot of humor. Vanity Fair has called Jackie ‘Hollywood’s own Marcel Proust. ‘The Love Killers’ illustrates a great storyteller at the height of he powers and we hope to transfer this to today’s film screens.”

Jay Weston has been a successful film producer for more than 40 years, and his Billie Holiday biofilm, :”Lady Sings The Blues,” achieved five Academy nominations. He is equally proud of having co-produced Director Billy Wilder’s last film, “Buddy, Buddy,” with Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon. Other Weston films featured Carol Burnett and Alan Arkin, Clint Eastwood, and Rod Steiger as W. C Fields. He is looking forward to making “The Love Killers” with Ms. Collins this year.

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It comes as no surprise that best-selling author Jackie Collins’ new book, The Power Trip, hits the best-seller list at number six!  That makes 29 bestselling novels for the Queen of Hollywood, glamour, secrets, sex and suspense.  Pick up a copy of The Power Trip and see what everyone is talking about.

The Power Trip Jackie Collins
Standard Collins Fare – A billionaire, a movie
star, a senator and a slew of beautiful women
set sail on a luxury yacht off the coast of
Cabo San Lucas.

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The Power Trip

Jackie Collins, read by Jackie Collins, Sydney
Tamiia Poitier, Holter Graham, Euan Morton,
and January LaVoy. MacMillan Audio,
unabridged, 11 CDs, 13.5 hrs., $39.99 ISBN
978-1-4272-2926-7

This latest steamy tale from Collins centers on a luxurious cruise featuring an elite group of men and women from the realms of politics, business, entertainment, and sports who must face both their own scandals and the threat of an international band of pirates. The full cast—led by Collins herself—certainly brings vocal talent to the production, offering a broad range of performance styles. As the voices and accents for characters shift with each narrator, this variety will either prove energizing or dizzying, depending on the listener’s taste. In the case of one particularly despicable villain—the sexually reckless Senator Hammond Patterson—it is interesting to hear the narrators’ different renderings. Collins’s performance captures the titillating tone of her own brand nicely, setting the stage for the rest of the cast to apply their craft as the storyline unfolds. Porter and Graham shine as they tackle the range of emotions and larger- than-life personalities. A St. Martin’s hardcover. (Feb.)

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