Jackie Collins: “I have a man for every occasion” (Mirror.co.uk)

Sunday, 28 March, 2010 / Published in Press

The sauciest author of them all, 72, on sex (quelle surprise), Colin Farrell’s impressive nether regions, Viagra, Cougars, teaching women all over the world about sex, and er, lots more stuff about sex…

How did you first find out about the birds and the bees?
Jackie Collins: My parents never taught me about sex. I found out from my schoolmates. There was one particular American girl two years older than me and she revealed everything when I was about 12. She was a very advanced 14 year old. She wanted me to play truant all the time and pick up guys and I thought that was just fabulous. I didn’t know that kind of life existed. And yes, I guess you could say I was an early starter.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve had about sex?
JC: No one’s ever given me any advice about sex. I had to learn everything myself. I learnt a lot by reading, and at 12 and 13 I was reading Harold Robbins. A lot of young girls write to me on Twitter or on my website and say, ‘I’ve been reading your books under the covers and you’ve taught me everything I know about sex… and my boyfriend’s not disappointed’.

What sex tips did you give your own children?
JC: They seemed to know everything by the time I got around to talking to them about sex. I always tell them to respect themselves, especially girls. Sex is an even thing and the guys shouldn’t think they’re getting one over on the girls because they can get to first base or second base or whatever.

What do girls write to you about most?
JC: A lot of girls ask me what they should do because their boyfriend wants to go all the way. I advise them that, if they’re under 16, there’s loads of stuff they can do to please their man without going all the way. And I refer them to my books, ‘Go and read Rock Star and take the main character as your example.’ So it kills two birds with one stone (laughs).

Do men get intimidated by you because of the sex in your books?
JC: I think I have a good time with men cos I’m a big tease. Not in a sexual way, but in the way I talk to them. I remember being at a dinner party recently and talking to a major movie star who I know is screwing everything that moves. I said, ‘I hope you use a condom.’ He said, ‘No I don’t, and it’s worth it.’ Guys treat me like one of the boys and tell me everything, and I love that.

So what turns women on so much about your books?
JC: The fantasies I write are honest. A lot of the men I write are every woman’s fantasy because they are sexy, but also nice. But not too nice. They’ve also got a bad-boy streak, but not too bad. And that’s what every woman wants, including myself. I’ve always liked to have men with a bad-boy streak, otherwise it’s boring.

How much of the sex in your books is based on your own experience?
JC: A lot of it is based on my own experience and from things I’ve observed and things people have told me. I came to Hollywood when I was 15, and God, this sounds so weary, but I’ve seen and done it all, you know what I mean?

Do you have a guilty pleasure?
JC: Matthew Goode, the star of Leap Year. He’s got this Irish accent and he’s going to be huge. He’s sexy and a bad boy, he’s like a taller Colin Farrell. Did you ever see the Colin Farrell sex tape? My God, he’s got an enormous d**k and he comes walking towards the camera with it. You’ve got to get hold of it.

Does size matter?
JC: I knew that was coming. I think the quality of lovemaking matters more than size, although it obviously helps. It gives it a leg up, so to speak.

Is the mile-high club all it’s cracked up to be – or wouldn’t you know?
JC: I do know. But I know the private mile-high club which is in a private plane, so the bathrooms are bigger. But it wasn’t my private plane, it was someone else’s. And no, I’m not telling you whose.

What’s the most bizarre sex story you’ve ever heard?
JC: There’s this famous producer who likes to get done up as a woman in a red sequined dress and then he climbs in a closet with a two-way mirror in his bedroom. Then he hires a male escort to take his wife out, then bring her back and sh*g her while the producer sits in the closet and watches. That’s a true story, I couldn’t make that up. That will find its way into one of my books.

Would you ever make a sex tape?
JC: You must be crazy. Especially if you think you might become famous, because of course the guy’s going to sell the tape. Would you want anyone you might eventually break up with to have a sex tape of you? No way. It’s done very well for Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton. And those sex tapes were beautifully produced! Two weeks after Paris’s came out, she was hosting the Teen Choice Awards. But girls shouldn’t follow their example.

What turns you on the most, great sex and a crap body or crap sex and a great body?
JC: Great sex and a crap body.

Have you ever sent a dirty text to the wrong person?
JC: I’m too smart for that. I don’t send naughty texts because I think they will end up in someone else’s hands. If I want to say something naughty to someone I just say it. Or fly them in!

Does sex get better as you get older?
JC: I don’t think it has anything to do with how old you are or how experienced you are, it just depends on who you’re with. England is so obsessed with age. Mark Twain said, ‘Age is a question of mind over matter, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.’ That’s so true.

What do you think about Cougars?
JC: That’s just another word for a strong woman who doesn’t take any sh*t. It’s not such a bad thing, but people are trying to make it a bad word. A cougar is actually a really interesting, strong animal. Look at Cher and Madonna and Sharon Stone, they’re all great, independent women. Men are still threatened by women like that. So what do they call these old guys of 69 who are taking Viagra and f***ing 20 year olds? I wouldn’t call myself a Cougar, I like a man who’ll teach me something.

Biggest turn-on?
JC: A long relationship like I had with my husband and my fiancé. The main thing is to be friends and enjoy every part of the relationship, not just the sex. I’m not in a relationship. I love being by myself, but I have a man for every occasion.

Are you turned on by the sex scenes in your books?
JC: No, because if I got turned on then I wouldn’t have time to write. But I do know I turn a lot of other people on with my sex scenes. I get a lot of married men write to me and say, ‘My wife was reading your book on my honeymoon and I was furious because she wouldn’t put it down, but then I read it and the two of us had a great time in bed.’

What’s the biggest difference between attitudes to sex in Britain and the US?
JC: English men are more jokey about it and don’t take it so seriously. English men are much sexier.

THERE’S MORE
• Jackie’s just finished her book Poor Little Bitch Girl, is launching a website, finishing a play, writing another book and producing a movie. When does she have time for sex?
• She was desperate to hear all the goss from Big Brother and revealed she’d been offered a huge wad to do the US Celebrity Big Brother and I’m A Celebrity… but she’d never say yes.
• Al Pacino is her neighbour.

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